What We Need to Grow
It might be easier than we think
For the last few months, I’ve been reflecting a lot about growth.
What it means to grow.
What is required for growth.
What we might believe we need to grow vs what we actually need.
A lot of this contemplation has stemmed from my recent experiences of being pregnant.
Like many women, my first trimester was fairly unpleasant. There were weeks where I literally spent my time between therapy sessions either in the bathroom or getting just the right foods and drinks in order to (hopefully) prevent a need to run to the bathroom during sessions. There were other days where waves of extreme tiredness came over me and I had no choice but to put my head down between sessions.
Fortunately, being a self-employed therapist allowed me to create the flexible schedule I needed to both care for myself to prevent an interruption during sessions and still be present with clients.
Aside from the logistics of managing pregnancy symptoms while still managing a caseload, the whole experience really got me thinking a lot about growth and healing.
One day in particular I remember quite well. I had a full day of clients and after one session that afternoon, I felt a tremendous wave of tiredness come over me. Fortunately, I had given myself an hour long break after that session, so I was able to lay down and rest for a little bit.
As I laid down I remember not quite falling asleep but also not quite being fully awake. I was tired, but no so tired that I needed to sleep. My eye lids were far too heavy to stay open. As I laid there in bed tired but still awake, I could feel my entire body telling me in that moment, You really need this right now.
In the moments that followed, I felt many little twinges, pinches, and subtle movements. Instinctively, I knew something was growing. Thought I didn’t know what it was exactly, I knew that my body was creating something in that moment that was very, very important.
Had I pushed myself to work or “do” something in that moment rather than rest, I knew instinctively that this very important piece may not have grown the way it needed to or as easily as it did.
My experience that day led me to ponder the question of, “What do we really need to grow?”
So I’ve been paying a little more attention to nature.
I’ve watched my plants that were wilting be given a little more water and sun, which has led them to develop new growth through new leaves and roots, some of which has led to flowers.
I’ve watched the grass outside turn from brown and lifeless to a vibrant green following the rain and increasingly longer days of sun.
I’ve watched the trees bloom with an increase in sun and warmth.
And I realized — some of the most important growth in life comes by nature doing what it is programmed to do.
Sometimes you need to work with nature by caring for living things — and yourself — so the conditions are supportive of growth.
Sometimes the easiest way to grow — and heal — is to trust that, somewhere within you, you already know what you need... just like nature.
Does that mean you’re going to be perfect every time? Definitely not.
Sometimes plants just die.
Sometimes forests just burn.
Sometimes animals just get injured.
Sometimes humans just get sick.
Despite all of our efforts to try to create the outcome we want, unpleasant outcomes still inevitably happen. You can’t control or force the outcome to be what you want it to be. After all, a big part of life is learning to accept that you can’t always get what you want.
But as the song goes … you get what you need.