The Sweetness of Doing Nothing
On Connecting Back to You
Reflections On Being Human is a reader-supported publication. If you would like to create reciprocity for my work, gain the ability to comment on my posts, receive full-access to all of my articles as well as meditations, journal prompts, and mindfulness or somatic activities, then I invite you to become a paid subscriber. Your support is greatly appreciated.
It’s okay to not have much to say for a while.
It’s okay to just be living.
It’s okay to just be breathing.
It’s okay to just be existing.
You don’t need to be producing something all the time.
You don’t have to be constantly creating.
You don’t have to be constantly working on something in order to “grow”.
You don’t have to be constantly working on something in order to “heal”.
You don’t have to be constantly trying to do better.
You don’t have to be constantly trying to be better.
After all, if we’re not working in order to have moments where we allow ourselves to just enjoy living then what’s the point of it all anyway?
Lately I’ve been focusing a lot less on “doing” and a lot more on just…living.
On just doing what I need to do everyday.
On just focusing on the “little” things.
On refocusing back on myself as much as possible rather than what’s “out there”.
A part of that has involved trying to gradually unplug from all the noise on social media, so I can have more space to myself rather than have it be clouded so much by a virtual reality that’s not real life.
I can’t remember where I heard this, but while back I heard, “Americans live to work, but Europeans work to live.” Based on what I’ve seen from living abroad and traveling, I’m pretty sure that’s true in more places than just Europe. But, regardless, it is very true about Americans.
We don’t really slow down.
We don’t really allow ourselves to pause.
There’s a tendency to constantly be looking to do more, be more, create more with this belief that, in doing so, we’ll somehow “be better” than the rest.
But the reality is… that’s very far from sustainable.
That’s how human beings burn out.
That’s how human beings get exhausted.
That’s how human beings develop chronic health issues… by constantly pushing ourselves to do more without taking the time to slow down and check in with what we’re feeling and what we need so we can adequately give ourselves the care and nourishment we need.
And if we aren’t at all connected to what we feel and need, then how is any of this “producing” ever healing anyway? How does any of it foster real growth if we’re disconnected from ourselves and each other? How do we grow if we’re far too entrenched in unsustainable beliefs that we’ve been fed by our culture in our attempts to grow?
If the motivation to “grow” and “heal” is either based on material gain or the desire acquire some kind of persona that we believe we need to have in order to be “successful” or “enough” and not much else, then what do we really have anyway?
A little over 10 years ago now I remember reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love for the first time. I had a lot of takeaways from that book, but one in particular that has stuck with me is the Italian saying “dolce far niente”. Which means: “The sweetness of doing nothing” or “sweet idleness”.
The word “Dolce” translates to “sweet”, “far” translates to “do”, and “niente” to “nothing”.
It’s referring to the moments in life where you just simply “do nothing” and find enjoyment and peace in that.
For Italians, this phrase is a way of life. It can be done enjoying a good wine and a plate of pasta, while simply enjoying the moment. It’s the moments when you can enjoy life for its simplicity and just observe what’s around you.
It’s not about being bored or scheduling yourself some “me” time to meditate, read, journal, do yoga, or get a massage, which is what we tend to lean towards doing as Americans.
Instead, it’s about just doing nothing… and enjoying it. It’s about taking a break from all the hustle and bustle and just taking the time to notice it. It’s about breaking away and allowing yourself to unwind. It’s about stepping back and noticing life rather than being in it, so you can see more of the wholeness of what is.
Things I’ve found nourishing this week:
Listening to music in the background as I write, read, do busy work around the home, cook, etc. (P.S. I also learned this week that, apparently, music helps to naturally boost your oxytocin, aka the “love hormone” levels).
Naps and rest… always.
Snuggles with the dog on the couch.
Making — and eating — homemade bruschetta.
Watching sunsets.
Diffusing lavender essential oils.
Organizing.