The heaviness of it all
In these changing times
These last few days here in Northern California have been overcast and cool. Though I would usually prefer warmer, sunnier days, the desire to rest and contemplate that emerges on overcast days is something that I’ve been feeling is needed.
I haven’t been paying a significant amount of attention to the news in recent months. In fact, I’ve committed to unplug from it as much as possible for my own health and well-being. The irony, of course, is that no matter how much you unplug and no matter how much you try to disconnect, it’s impossible to not hear about what’s going on.
Naturalized citizens being told by immigration lawyers to not leave the country because they might be detained upon re-entry.
US citizens being intimidated by US officers while trying to re-enter the US from the Canadian border.
Women receiving intimidation at the DMV for attempting to change their name back post-divorce.
The stories upon stories of people being “deported” — even though we know that a more accurate term of phrase in these circumstances would be “kidnapped”.
There’s just so much heaviness to it all.
I spoke with a friend the other day who is living in Europe. She told me that she signed up for a language class, but felt really out of place. The class was filled with Ukrainian and Palestinian refugees. “I felt like the only person in the class who wasn’t forced to completely start their lives over”, she told her partner.
“It’s only a matter of time before we, as US citizens living abroad, will also be considered refugees”, her partner responded.
She later told me she’s been feeling depressed lately and she wasn’t sure why. I told her that witnessing what the US is evolving into is a valid enough reason to feel depressed.
There’s just so much heaviness to it all.
It’s hard to witness all of this and not allow it to drag you down. It’s hard to witness all of this and to have it not move you into a state of debilitating fear and/or depression.
We’re living through turbulent times. We’re living through times that our ancestors have had to live through, but many of us have had the luxury in our lifetimes to not have to face it head-on like this. This time is different. It’s blatant. It’s real. It’s scary. It’s heavy. It’s so heavy that I can almost feel the heaviness in the air as if the storm currents are gradually coming to shore.
There’s a heaviness in the air
There’s tensions brewing
Conflicts arising
Don’t turn away or you won’t know
Don’t hold your breath or you won’t be prepared
For the heaviness in the air.
There’s a heaviness in the air
It can make it harder to breath
It can make it harder to feel safe and secure
When the earth feels like its shifting
With so many tensions in the air
Because our world is changing.
There’s a heaviness in the air
Remember to breath
And take it moment by moment
We can’t control what happens
We can’t force certain outcomes
When there’s heaviness in the air.
I don’t know how all of this will transpire — and the truth is, no one does — but I can hope that we respond in a way so democracy — and humanity — will prevail.
So what am I doing to help with the heaviness of it all?
I’ve started crocheting. So rather than go on my phone (which inevitably ends up being some sort of social media or news) or TV, I go to work on a new bag, sweater, hat, scarf or whatever.
I’ve been really focusing on my nutrition — and not in the way of “eat enough veggies” or “eliminate these foods cause they’re bad” kind of nutrition. But by making sure I eat enough, so I don’t feel depleted and I fully regain my energy after being super depleted postpartum. Because, frankly, fully healing from iron deficiency is a bitch.
I’ve been embracing music, books, and great writing here in substack, because, despite what popular culture tends to say, art is healing.
I’ve been taking in the full beauty of mother nature in the spring time, which, in Northern California this time of year, she sure is a beauty.
Content I’ve appreciated lately:
Feet in the Butter’s Neuroception & Authoritarianism
Inner Canvas’s You’re 22. What do you know about life?
Motherhood Until Yesterday’s Why I’m Not a Fan of Gentle Parenting
What Do We Do Now That We’re Here’s Everyone I know is worried about work
Venus in Gemini’s Sacred Inconvenience
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Gosh, I needed this today. Thank you so much for sharing this piece and the mention at the end ❤️ I've started colouring in and making latch hook rugs to avoid doom scrolling. Both are helping with the heaviness!