A lot has been going on this past week. Tensions have been high. Social media seems to have turned into it’s own kind of war zone in response to what’s been going on in Israel.
A part of me wants to remain quiet, as I have been and continue to focus on healing. A part of me feels there’s enough “noise” out there already, so… why add more “noise”?
But as I look out my window to the sun rising and the light gradually moving through the trees, I’m reminded that it’s okay to say something. And that just because I’m saying something when our collective tensions are high, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s going to come out in an inflammatory way nor does it mean that it will necessarily receive an inflammatory reaction.
I’m reminded that it’s safe to just… speak.
I knew this month was going to be an intense one, given the solar eclipse in Libra on October 14th and the lunar eclipse in Taurus on October 28th. Generally speaking, eclipses are like a “big” new moon and a “big” full moon. Meaning, they start a “big” new beginning (solar) and a “big” ending (lunar). They can be felt for months in advance and afterwards, but tend to be most intense at the time of the actual eclipse. For this reason along with some of the aspects going along with it, it’s going to be a fairly intense October and November.
On a personal note, I’m going through my nodal return. Since I’m 36 (just as anyone else who is approximately 36… or 18 or 54 or 72) the nodes are in the same signs that they were when I was born. Though, even if you’re not in your “nodal return” everyone is still collectively being impacted by the nodes being in the signs that they are. The nodes in their placements represent our collective karmic path. The south node represents the shadow, unconscious patterns that we need to overcome in order to move forward, while the north node represents the new lessons that we need to embody in order to evolve and grow. In our birth chart, the nodes suggest that we are meant to move away from the expression of our South Node and gradually move more into our North Node expression in order to follow our life’s purpose. In order to see how this would personally show up for you, you can look at what houses Aries and Libra are in in your birth chart.
In this case, the North Node is in Aries and the South Node is in Libra (though, we are currently still having some eclipses in the Taurus-Scorpio nodal axis,so it’s a little messier but I’m not going to get into that one for simplicity sake).
In the Aries (north node) and Libra (south node) axis, it’s about moving away from codependency and people pleasing (Libra) and into independence and autonomy (Aries). It’s about moving past subconscious tendencies of pleasing others first and focusing more on your own wants, needs and desires.
Naturally, the Aries-Libra nodal placement can have the tendency to create some strife for relationships and, as we’ve seen this past week, can suggest the start of wars and anti-war protests (after all, Aries is the god of war!)
Lately I’ve been focusing a lot on rest and simplicity. This past week I actually caught myself going into an old familiar pattern. It almost felt a little foreign when it came up because I hadn’t gone into that place at all since recovering so much from burnout.
The pattern was, essentially, doing something because I believed that’s what I should do because someone else might criticize me for not doing it. However, in the process, it was clear that I was hurting myself. I was wasting my energy and I was purposefully ignoring my intuition that was telling me that this wasn’t the right path for me.
Immediately afterwards, I felt horrible. Irritated. Frustrated. Then I found myself going into a pattern of wanting to anxiously “solve the problem”, which lasted only a few hours before I realized that I truly had no desire to do any of this.
In hindsight, I know the irritability and frustration was because I was pushing myself to do something that I didn’t want to do. It’s because I was forcing myself to do something just so I could tell someone else that I did it. Even though, ironically, the person likely didn’t care what decision I made anyway, but, nevertheless, I felt obligated just because I told this person that I was going to do it.
Just because you told someone that you’re going to do something, it doesn’t automatically mean that you’re obligated to do it.
You have a choice.
You have the freedom to change your mind.
You have the freedom to pause, to feel it out.
You have the freedom to tune into your gut, your instincts, and your intuition to see what feels right for you.
You have the freedom to say “no.”
You have the freedom to say “this isn’t the right fit for me”.
You have the freedom to say “this worked for me in the past but it doesn’t work for me anymore”.
You have the freedom to say “this used to help me, but it doesn’t anymore”.
You have the freedom to say “I used to do this, but I don’t anymore”.
You have the freedom to say “I don’t like this anymore”.
“Because I’m different.”
“Because I’ve grown.”
“Because I’ve changed.”
And that alone is a valid enough reason.
Content that I’ve appreciated this week:
This very informative article by Uncharted Territories that talks about the history of Israel and why the land is so valuable for that area.
Marianne Williamson’s eloquent response about the Israel and Hamas conflict.
The Root Cause Medicine Podcast, which is a podcast I recently discovered that talks about everything from Long COVID to hormones to diabetes to cancer and so on.
Elle Griffin’s take on whether a US state has the potential to become a “utopian” country.
The BBC’s “Witch” podcast series, which feels so fitting for this season.
I haven’t mentioned it in a while, but I want to thank you for being here. I’m fairly inconsistent and as I’m in a season of healing and re-evaluating I’m also feeling into what I want for myself in the future. Naturally, that also includes what I would like this substack to evolve into.
I have the sense that I will probably do some “re-branding” of sorts and begin writing about more specific topics that both sparks my interest and feels deeply important.
Of course, I’m trying to work with where my energy is at so I don’t get ahead of myself by making a commitment to something that I’m not yet ready for. So when the time comes, it will come. But in the mean time, thanks for being here on this journey with me.