On allowing myself to be in the mess
... and to be okay with not entirely knowing where I'm heading
Over the past week or so I feel like I’ve been in a transition.
Part of that transition involves reflecting on and contemplating how I’m showing up both on this platform and on Instagram.
Lately I’ve been pausing and asking myself with most everything that I do, “Is this truly nourishing? Is this fulfilling? And if not, then why am I doing it?”
This is partially stemming from my pregnancy and impending labor and birth of my first (and likely only) baby, because I want to be in a place where, if I’m putting time and energy into something, that it feels fulfilling and supportive. And I know a big part of that involves putting my time and energy into things that I genuinely enjoy rather than the things that I think I should be doing.
I don’t know what that will look like with full certainty yet, but that might manifest as showing up far less on Instagram and far more on here.
It might involve playing around with the many different options to set up and structure my work on this platform.
It might also involve being a bit more open and flexible in what I’m choosing to write about.
So in order to discover that place that feels most fulfilling to me, I’m giving myself permission to:
Stop the unnecessary structures and restrictions that I’ve placed on myself.
Drop all the external messages I’ve received about how things “should” be or what I “should” do.
Not push myself if I don’t feel the time is right.
Let the process be messy.
Be in the uncertainty of where it is all going and simply share from a place that brings me joy.
Because, after all, I’m never going to fully know where I’m going if I don’t allow myself to be in the messy process so I can discover what works best for me.
And, really, that’s key to both creativity… and healing… for all of us.
So thanks for being here on this messy journey with me.