Embracing the Unknown to Try Something New
Or Try Something Old
This past Christmas I found myself nostalgic for receiving music and movies as gifts.
I should clarify… I was a little more than just nostalgia. I was legitimately kind of sad about it. I missed the artwork on the album. I missed the little pamphlet that shared all the lyrics along with the names of all the people who were involved in the production of each track.
I missed the many weeks after I received a new album where I would fully immerse myself in it. I would take that CD and listen to it in the car, on walks or just in my room on repeat. Depending on the album or the specific song, I would either listen carefully to all of the lyrics to understand what the artist was trying to convey or I would simply just enjoy the music and create dances to it.
I was missing was the sensory experience of it all. The touch of the disc. The sounds of the player when you put the disc in. The organizing of the various CDs that I had and knowing that I now owned my own copies of this music. (I realize these are some of the same reasons why vinyl has become trendy again in recent years).
So a few weeks ago I decided to go out and buy my first CD player in about 20 years and I got copies of a few CDs of albums that I loved but never personally owned.
When they all arrived, I unwrapped that first CD and got it out from its case. After I put it in the player, I went through a brief “Wait, how do you work this thing?” moment but quickly figured it out.
The moment that first song played I was immediately taken aback by how good the sound was. I wasn’t using a fancy speaker, but the music was noticeably so much clearer than the music I streamed through this same speaker for years. It honestly brought tears to my eyes, because I suddenly remembered how I used to hear music this way. After so many years of streaming and downloading mp3 music files I had completely forgotten what it was like to hear music in any other way. Up until that moment, I never fully appreciated music on a audio CD format.
In that moment I had the thought: You don’t know what you’re missing out on until you’ve experienced something different.
You don’t know what you’re missing out on until you’ve experienced something different.
So many of us are just living life on autopilot. We do the things we do because those are the habits we’ve developed. We go on the same social media apps because those are the same ones we’ve been using for 5, 10, or 15 years. We listen the music from the same radio stations or app. We go to the same coffee shops. We go to the same stores. We eat at the same restaurants. We talk with the same people. We stay with the same job. We go to what we go to because that’s what we’re familiar with and it feels comfortable.
But just because you’re comfortable with something, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re happy and fulfilled doing what you’re doing. It just means that you’re doing what’s familiar to you.
I’ve seen countless people in therapy now over the years who come to me because they feel stuck in some way. They’re feeling depressed. They’re feeling anxious. They’re feeling miserable in some way and they (usually) don’t know why.
Generally speaking, the people that I see who are struggling the most are also the people who don’t like to make life changes. They adamantly want to stay with what is familiar for them. They don’t want to leave the job they hate despite the company and their colleague’s values being different from their own, because they don’t want to deal with the change. They don’t want to move out of their current living situation even though they don’t like it, because staying is more comfortable. They don’t want to set boundaries in their relationship with a family member, because they know change will bring up conflict, which causes fear so keeping everything the same is far more comfortable.
But the truth is: You can ever really know what the other side of that change will be like until you actually make the change.
Maybe when you leave the abusive relationship, you’ll finally feel safe and be lucky enough to meet someone else who truly respects you and values you for who you truly are.
Maybe when you leave the job where you feel unappreciated and undervalued, the tension you’ve been holding in your shoulders will finally melt away, you’ll start to notice the sun shining again and you’ll find an employer who does value what you have to offer.
Maybe when you start setting boundaries, you’ll discover a new level of confidence that you didn’t know you had in you and you’ll find that you’re actually less stressed out overall.
Or maybe, the change that you need right now is to go back to doing something that used to enjoy years ago, but you haven’t done it in a very, very long time.
Maybe it’s calling an old friend that you haven’t spoken to in years. Maybe it’s getting back into drawing or painting. Maybe it’s getting back into swimming. Maybe it’s singing that old favorite song of yours in the shower like you did years ago. Or maybe it’s dusting off some old vinyls or CDs and putting them in the player again.
It’s about finding something that can bring you a sense of calm, some relief, or maybe even a little bit of joy, because we all could use more of that.
But you can never know what it will feel like on the other side until you make the change and allow yourself to find out.
Content I’ve appreciated lately:
Confession’s of a Therapist’s Why The Only Person You Can Change is Yourself.
Eliza Butler’s Your Closer to Self Trust Than You Think.
Dr Erica Matlock’s What if the Cause of Dis-ease is Not the Root Cause?
Another World is Possible’s going on a news fast for lent
Just as a little side note, I apologize for not being super consistent with my posts on this platform. I wish I was able to be little more consistent with writing new articles on this platform. There are many ideas that I have and there are large articles that I have started but just haven’t finished. I had been struggling with iron deficiency after giving birth 2.5 years ago and I ultimately figured out the problem on my own about 9 months ago. Since then, I’ve supplemented with iron and have gotten iron infusions to get my ferritin numbers up. Despite my numbers looking good on paper, I still experience waves of the “unexpected fatigue” that can be debilitating when it happens. I’m hoping these fatigue episodes will continue to reduce as we move into the warmer months, so I have the energy to write more and engage with all of you.
That being said, if you want to comment on my articles, engage with the notes I share, and more then feel free to download the substack app. Personally, I’ve been finding it easier to read my favorite publications via the app rather than sorting them through the many emails I receive.
Great post! I can relate to similar experiences I have with client’s resistance to change in my private practice. It takes a lot of courage to do a different action. Thank you for sharing my post, I appreciate the t!